I'm tired of pretending not to be depressed

[tymorial]

4. Nadine, it is OKAY to need help

I understand how you feel; worrying how your emotions will impact others... feeling like your needs must be secondary. I really get that, it is something that I struggle with too. With a home like ours growing up we looked for cues on how to act, how to feel, how to behave because we knew that our situation could change quickly. We became hypervigilant to the feelings and actions of others to the point that we can read a situation and a person extremely quickly. It is a survival mechanism. Not survival in a life or death sense but in emotional stability for ourselves. If we can prevent a situation or stop negativity quickly it is better for US. The down side is we internalize so much and it continues throughout our life.

Remember this, it is OKAY to have needs of our own. Sometimes we need to say fuck it and say it loud. Sometimes we need to vent and be honest with our emotions. That is why your therapist is there. He can take it! That is our job. To help you work through the feelings, anxiety, stress and find ways of managing all of those fears and bottled up emotion.

Are you afraid of being perceived as needing because there is nothing wrong with needing help.