I'm tired of pretending not to be depressed

[vlyons]

27. You are not alone in your suffering

You have what is called the suffering of suffering, and underlying that is persistent suffering. But sleeping all day is not the answer. Can your therapist recommend a group to join? Sort AA for depressives that wouldn't cost so much, yet give you an outlet to vent?

I too have suffered from depression. It stinks. I have found great peace through meditation. Nothing fancy. Just sitting, watching my breathing, and coming back to watching my breathing, when my discursive mind skips off to the wild blue yonder. Whatever is my mental and emotional state in the moment, that's what I get to sit with. It has enabled me to develop more patience and stoic acceptance of however I am in the moment. I do about a 20 minute meditation sit each morning and evening. It works for me. Try it and see if it works for you. But don't expect it to make your depression go away completely. Rather sitting practice has enabled me to better endure and be honest with myself about my emotional state.

I'm a Buddhist, so long ago I realized Buddha's 1st Noble Truth, the truth of suffering. It's all around us, and everyone is at its effect one way or another, even though they may not have realized it. But there are things that you can do for yourself. Many good suggestions in the above responses, not the least of which was getting outside and eating more healthy food.