holy cow. i sent a message to my nearest dna match. she is adopted.

[WePurrsevere]

29. As an adoptee & advocate, I'm so very glad you're helping her...

I found both bio families 3 yrs ago via 23andMe and Ancestry. I occasionally help fellow adoptees and always if they're a match because I understand the deep sense of longing to know, to connect that many of us have. I

If anyone is interested I have a write up of suggestions for adoptees and NPEs to try...

When you're looking for bio family DNA testing is the way to go but I highly suggest you request your non-identifying info, and original birth certificate if available, from the state you were born in.
Testing DNA is suggested because.. "people lie, DNA doesn't." (It may not seem like much sometimes but even non-ID info can help give you clues that when combined with your DNA results can help.)

So.. here's what I and some others who regularly try to help adoptees suggest ...

Test at Ancestry first since it has the largest data base. Please be sure to attach your raw data to a private tree there... it can't hurt, might help. When setting up a tree just use your name and "unknown father" "unknown mother" unless you know a name. If you have an approx idea of age or where they were born you can add that too. (I had this from my non id info).

If you still don't have your answers, upload the raw data you have from Ancestry to MyHeritage, FamilyTreeDNA and GEDmatch.. getting matches there is free. Only extra tools cost if you want them.

If you still don't have close enough matches test at 23andMe. (Amazon Prime Days often has the basic kit at a great price).

I originally found my closest maternal on 23andMe and my closest paternal on MyHeritage and Ancestry. Different people will test at different places so you want to cover as many places as you can and this way also can save you a bit of money.

If you get close matches screenshot all info, especially if they have a tree, immediately just in case they freak. If you're confused about your results pop in here or try Facebook groups: DNA Detectives and their more social group DD Social. Both are very adoptee friendly and helpful.

Again thank you so much for helping them. Sadly there's still an amazing lot of bias out there against us and adoptees all too often are shunned.