So I read that Jesus Christ name originally was going to be Gary.

[jmowreader]

19. John Smith got consigned to Hell

On his first day, Satan was walking him around the place. They pass by a big beach, nice houses, big green fields, all populated by people truly looking like they’re having a good time. They go to the mess hall and see reasonably appetizing food. It looks…well, maybe not some sort of paradise but a pretty decent place to be. They go to nicely-equipped workshops where people are happily working.

John is perplexed. “You aren’t setting me up, are you? Like, you’re going to show me all this stuff then throw me in a vat of boiling asphalt, would you?”

“No,” said the Devil. “I’ve never done that shit.”

Then they come to something that looks like the Berlin Wall and John heard screams of agony coming from behind it.

“I knew it! You were just trying to trick me!”

“No John, I would not. Over there are the Pentecostals and Baptists. I have no idea why, but that’s what they want.”