Honest criticism please

[softhearted]

5. Re: Honest criticism please

Not blindness tis' only my vision

'Tis' is short for 'it is', so the apostrophe should go before the 't' (where the missing 'i' would be).

And humanitys greatness evinced

You're missing full stops at the end of every stanza (in the second stanza you could have a colon after 'perforce')

Through time dimly to surface within me

I don't get what this means.

On the rock that I love my dear Earth

There should be a colon or comma after 'love'.



Also - and this is probably the main problem - you don't really have regular rhythm.