Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member Latest Breaking News Editorials & Other Articles General Discussion The DU Lounge All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

Poetry

In reply to the discussion: If I were your shadow (first draft) [View all]

3Hotdogs

(13,720 posts)
1. First of all, the title is inviting. I don't usually stop to read poems. The title caught me.
Mon Oct 21, 2019, 06:42 AM
Oct 2019

Leave the first two stanza alone.

Move the third line of third stanza onto the second line...

Of the Saharan dunes in Jesus shoes
You step,
I leave a footprint....


Should Jesus have a possessive apostrophe?


Is this the ending or are you planning to add more?

Recommendations

0 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

Latest Discussions»Culture Forums»Poetry»If I were your shadow (fi...»Reply #1