So WHAT is the big deal if Jesus were married?

[mntleo2]

11. Women can be jerks too, unfortunately

...I know this is off subject but as a woman I need to address that, lol.

Some women fall into the "mean girls" role where they can drive someone to the mental institute and then bat their eyes and say, "I didn't TOUCH her/him..." I saw it a lot with women managers who had no more heart than their male peers and bosses.

When I was a young feminist I heard that if women ran the world it would be more family friendly, respect the work of women and give them equal pay for equal work. But many women look the other way as managers and bosses when these very things are occurring. When a woman has kids, they can be no less demanding and just as inflexible as men. Their "bottom line" philosophy is as cruel and demanding as any man. As a matter of fact I grew to prefer men to women bosses because most men seemed more understanding and at least a man would not know any better. But it is VERY damaging when a woman who had power over other women did it, because she should know better about the challenges for women who work for a wage. Women often have TWO full time jobs in the home and family requirements with kids, elders, and sick spouses and to see other women look the other way with this is ...beyond painful. These women should know that accommodating those barriers will actually HELP productivity not make it worse as the lack of accommodations do. I also saw a lot of the "gossip, group gang" mentality with women more, so they imposed their rules much more arbitrarily than a man did.

A story about a work experience that might help as an example:

One time I worked with two men who were long time good friends. They ate lunch together, they went fishing together, they were best men at each others' weddings. One day one of them announced at a meeting they were leaving and moving on to another job. On the way out the door, the other friend punched this guy HARD on the shoulder and said, "You bastard! You are LEAVING me here!"

I smugly thought as I walked behind them, "This is not how women would be to their friend. They would be happy for them, hugging them and letting them know how great that will be..."

But over the next few days I could not get this out of my mind because well, I began to admit some things for myself and what I knew of other women. I realized my "support" for a friend would also have those same (pretty buried) feelings that I could not speak to that these male friends had with one another. I realized that friend was being honest with his friend about his sense of abandonment.

I did imagine that later on, perhaps over a beer, that male friend would let his friend know how proud he was for him and how happy he was that that guy was moving on to better things. And in the same way perhaps, a female friend might boo-hoo with her friend and express her sense of abandonment over dinner together. But see the different way men and women seem to operate?

Whenever I tell this story it is important to see how each sex reacts. To men, this way of women is too "dishonest". To women, the way that friend reacted was too "confrontational". I tend to prefer the confrontational way because at least I know where the hell I stand and it is usually up front.

Until then I could not understand how it was that on-the-job, many times I would see men almost get to fisticuffs over something. But then at the end of the day, they would throw their arms around each other and say, "Hey, let's go have a beer ..." I'd be thinking, "What the hell? they were just yelling at each other two hours ago! How do they do that?" If that kind of incident happened between two women, that would mean WAR from then on. Maybe they would work it in some heart-to-heart talk ~ but there would be *no* forgiveness or trust for years to come ~ and a whole lot of back-door undermining that nobody else would understand.

While I can see that both sexes possess the same feelings, they go about dealing with it in different ways. And women can be VERY cruel and insensitive when they hold a grudge (not that men do not do the same, it is just more ...open).

At least with a man I know where I stand. Because we often beat up on men for that honesty and thanks to what I have seen, I no longer ascribe to feminism, I say I am a "humanist" tho I know that self-label is not quite accurate for me. Men have a right to be who they are too!

I will say the ways of women work better in business because that kind of "passive aggressive" behavior is more subtle and therefore more hidden. It is hard to confront it when it is hidden behind "good intentions" which in reality is about something else completely. Still I LIKE to not have to guess what the agenda is, I LIKE the way men deal with it ...but I have to admit that, as a woman, sometimes that male forthrightness is hard to take even though I have now raised 3 sons who have "broken me in" so to speak, lol

My 2 cents ...

Love Cat