Speaking of karma, soul contracts and life purpose...

[magical thyme]

23. you misquoted me

I did NOT write that I "desperately WANTED validation." I wrote that I desperately NEEDED it. That is in hindsight.

I did not write here specifically looking for validation (or maybe acknowledgement), but for general suggestions and advice.

In *hindsight* I needed for people to simply recognize my very real suffering and respond to that with suggestions on how to fix the issues. A little sympathy would have been nice as well. Instead, I got a response that simply left me feeling isolated.

"I think that was your first mistake. "
" I don't see the response you mentioned as being "cruel" in the least. "
" I guess I am just tired of people judging responses to their issues."

And those are classic "blame the victim" responses. You don't see a response as cruel because you are not putting yourself in the shoes of the person who is reaching out. You are glossing over another's suffering because you, yourself, do not feel it.

You can write that you are tired of people judging other's responses. Understand, I was not judging responses in the moment -- I was responding to the responses. They evoked greater suffering in me. That is not judgement; it is reality. That is all.

So people can read this and choose to blame me for daring to complain or criticize a philosophy I have a problem with. Or they can read this and take away a lesson -- that when people are in deep suffering, it may not be the best time to give a supposedly spiritual reply that they *chose* to suffer, which reflects personal beliefs that many, many people do NOT share. A simple, "I'm sorry for what you are suffering" is a far, far better response than suggesting that people deliberately and consciously chose suffering for themselves.

Which brings us back to the topic of the thread. I have real issues with "soul contract," which to me is an easy way to blame the victim. I do NOT in any way, shape or form believe that our souls deliberately and consciously choose bad experiences either to teach or to learn or for any freakin' reason offered. They may unconsciously attract or create them -- and unconscious is the crucial term here. It is in learning to make fully conscious choices that we can undo negative karma, imho.