What is the constant "opposition" I've been up against this past year or so?

[villager]

I'v been underemployed for months (with my on and offline teaching jobs vanishing), though I have one parttime copywriting gig now. But it just started paying.

And I went to the bank and found I only have a few hundred dollars left to my name. While, meanwhile, I'm renting a car because a motorcyclist crossed a red light and slammed into my car...

...and a fractured tooth needs a root canal.

And I'm a month or so behind on the rent.

All coming in the year when my Ex has been on a general warpath.

Man, I'd love to ditch L.A. and the whole scene, and just live in a Yurt in the woods for awhile. But my boys are here, so I stay, though the city has scarcely been kind to me.

And now I'm destitute!

One week from my next p/t copywriting check, and while one of the teaching gigs (an evening writing class) returns next week, I don't get paid for another month...

So I remain destitute!

I used to have more confidence in things, and now a kind of "blah" is setting in (probably as a defense against panic), but I don't want it to become full-blown depression.

And if I can somehow survive the next few months, and get current book finished, there's a chance the fall might be... easier. A bit. Maybe.

But for now: I'm destitute. In a fundamental, scary way.

So I came here to vent, to wonder what might lie in the stars (and if it'll pass) and/or whether this is connected to the fact I often seem to "put out" streetlights when I go past them! (I know, another thread -- but something I've always wanted to ask here anyway!)

Thanks for the venting, compadres...