Respectfully requesting advice about a funeral

[Heddi]

29. My feelings -- and let it be known, I'm an only child and don't go for this "sibling"bullshit

I am 40 years old and married to my husband for nearly 18 years and will never understand siblings. NEVER>

Anyways---

Based on what you said, they decided without your husband (or your) input to rent this church, right?

Now they want some $$ to cover the cost of something they didn't even have the respect to run by you?

Three words:
fuck
that
shit

It is one thing if this was a family decision and everyone (your husband/you included) was okay with the rental and the decision to split the cost. They have no right to come afterwards and say "You know that thing we did without your input? well now we'd like you to pay for it"

FUCK
THAT
SHIT

And I get the thing about the name. In the grand scheme of things, no big deal. But when it's done by people that you know are doing it to piss you off, it's more than a little thing. It's a blatant sign of disrespect. My father in law often "forgets" my name. Been with my husband since 97, married since 2000, fucker can't remember my name. Refers to me as "mr. heddi''s wife" or "your wife" when talking to my husband.

Seriously?

Also also also, I don't buy the bullshit argument "They're his family" Um, and what are you, chopped liver? YOU are more of family than they are, imo, because HE CHOSE YOU. You are family by choice, they are family by force. By being married, you are equal when it comes to say regarding money. If they want money from HIM then they want money from YOU. IT's that simple. There is no disqualifying the spouse's opinion because this is about "Family" and "siblings" -- You are his wife. You are an equal part in the marriage, money, and relationship. If they don't like that, tough shit. He can make the decision to divorce you, they can't. Sorry, but that shit annoys me too.

If he's asking for your opinion, tell him your opinion. YOU shouldn't have to tip-toe around this with your husband. Let him know that the little digs and bullshit over the years with the intentional misspellings and now this money thing make you very unwilling ot support giving the money to them especially if it wasn't something discussed prior.

What if they came with their hands out for a $500 portion of the bill? or $2000? The amount, in my opinion, shouldn't matter. They should have discussed this before hand or just decided to pay for it themselves. ESPECIALLY considering that the person who died wasn't religious so this wasn't THEIR last wishes.