When I realized I was on my own...

[Freelancer]

And God wasn't coming to the rescue.

I was eight. My folks, who were heavy beer drinkers, were introduced to "black russians" at a party a hundred miles from home. The cousin that was having the party in his basement made a half-hearted attempt to stop my parents leaving, knowing they were completely drunk -- barely able to stand. My stepfather tried to hit him for interfering, then dragged my mother and me to the front seat of the car, and took off.

I was sandwiched against the passenger door. About ten miles out of town, out in the cornfield darkness of Illinois between towns, dad slumped forward and the car started to drift. I climbed onto my mother, who was passed-out in the middle, and took hold of the side of the steering wheel. I was herding the car into the right lane, fighting my dad's weight pulling the other way, all the while yelling and poking him to wake up. Every time he'd wake up a little, he'd push down on the accelerator.

We were going 85 miles an hour at one point. I couldn't get his foot off of the gas and I couldn't reach the brake. The only thing I could reach while still holding the wheel was the gear shift and the key. When a moment came that I had us going straight, I pushed the gear shift lever into neutral. The engine roared, and I thought it might blow up. I thought to turn the key off, and we coasted. It seemed like we coasted in weird silence for miles, getting slower until we stopped along the side of the highway. There was a moment of trembling relief, then the car started rolling backward. We'd come to a stop while going up a slight hill. The way I had the wheel turned to get us off the road was now pulling us back onto the road and the power steering had stopped when the engine stopped. So, it was a struggle to pull the wheel. We ended up in the ditch. I turned off the headlights and took out the keys. We sat there til morning.

Even now, whenever they refer to the incident, my parents say "God was looking out for us that night" or "God looks out for little children and old drunks."

I don't say anything.