I had a friend pass suddenly a couple weeks ago

[auntAgonist]

1. 47of74 I'm so sorry for your loss. You ask,

Is it wrong ...

Your feelings are real and they are yours. I think I've heard it called survivors guilt and we all experience it at one time or another when we lose someone close to us.

I remember the exact same feeling when a friend ( we were in our 20's with toddler children) was diagnosed with Leukemia. I became really depressed and felt that "God" was punishing a very good young christian mother. I never felt that I measured up to expectations and so I thought it should have been me and not her.

I realize now that even before she became ill I was suffering depression and not thinking straight. Had I been the one to die I'd have left behind a toddler just as she had.

Your heart is in the right place, thinking of your friend's children and feeling so bad for them. I think that's where the feeling of 'me instead of him' comes from.

I might be all wrong and forgive me for rambling on ...

I'm glad you're looking after yourself.

aA
kesha