What you know is that you did everything you could. You don’t have to worry years from now wondering if you did enough. No solace now I know but trust me your words show you honored her.
Hospice is frustrating for me for many reasons. A big one is that if you have home care services and switch to hospice (staying in the home) you change all your caregivers and even have to change big rental equipment likes beds and wheelchairs (if less than ~ 1 year).
They have programs like ‘bridge to hospice’ but it has that darn word in there and is upsetting to people trying to decide what to do.
Some organizations may set it up better but it’s not universal. A bridge program that doesn’t use the word hospice but that seamlessly switches to hospice when it is right and keeping the same clinicians. I wish they were all like that.
I’m so sorry for your loss!
There is a poem I like from Emily Dickinson:
I never saw a moor,
I never saw the sea;
Yet know I how the heather looks,
And what a wave must be.
I never spoke with God,
Nor visited in heaven;
Yet certain am I of the spot
As if the chart were given.
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