History of Feminism

YoungDemCA

(5,714 posts) Sun Mar 9, 2014, 10:06 PM Mar 2014

To those who claim that feminism is somehow about being "sex-negative"... [View all]

I don't buy it. At all.

Feminism is not about being "sex-negative" or "sex-positive," IMHO. That is a false lens through which to view this debate. Rather, it is about being sex-constructive, as opposed to sex-destructive.

Healthy expressions of sex and sexuality, based on individual agency, dignity, self-worth, respect, empathy, caring, love, playfulness/fun, and mutual attraction, is how I would define the "sex-constructive" approach. The sex-destructive approach is based on unwanted attention, deception, coercion, power differentials, repression, inequality, shaming, fear, abuse, violence, and ultimately, rape.

I think all of us in this group can agree that we want to promote the former (constructive approach, not the latter (destructive) one, as much as possible. Surely, women and men alike (as well as those of other gender identities) can agree to this? What is so damn controversial or unclear about this distinction?

Believe it or not, my fellow (straight) men...women love good (as opposed to bad!) sex just as much as men do! They just also appreciate being respected as individual human beings (crazy concept, I know! ), not being reduced to an object for any man to have his way with. And no, no one is entitled to sex, certainly not without the consent of the other human being (subject with his/her own individual autonomy and agency) in whatever situation it is.

Is this really so hard? I am a straight white man, young and relatively inexperienced compared to many here on DU, yet even someone like me can understand these concepts.

My $0.02.

51 replies

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Highlight:

To those who claim that feminism is somehow about being "sex-negative"... [View all] YoungDemCA Mar 2014 OP

Thank you for a cogent assessment, chervilant Mar 2014 #1

I'm not so concerned about the hardcore ones... YoungDemCA Mar 2014 #2

Good point, chervilant Mar 2014 #3

Feminism is about money and respect. Sarah Ibarruri Mar 2014 #4

Feminism is a human dignity issue seeking to recognize that all genders/sexes Tuesday Afternoon Mar 2014 #5

This TED video chervilant Mar 2014 #6

The argument that it is "sex negative" Scootaloo Mar 2014 #7

Not as sexual partners BainsBane Mar 2014 #10

Fair point Scootaloo Mar 2014 #12

K&R! DeSwiss Mar 2014 #8

People (mostly but not all men) project their feelings about women onto women. McCamy Taylor Mar 2014 #9

Very true! Even last week, there were a Squinch Mar 2014 #23

Sexual response is one of the most complex of human behaviors The Traveler Mar 2014 #11

I think many know it's not about repressed sexuality BainsBane Mar 2014 #13

"Why do they insist on distorting arguments?" Squinch Mar 2014 #24

That brings us back to BainsBane Mar 2014 #25

Yeppers!!!! Squinch Mar 2014 #26

Jesus, now they are stoking poutrage BainsBane Mar 2014 #36

wow. and here i have been reading a book and playing with dog all day. oh, and my two nieces, seabeyond Mar 2014 #37

I have to look for that thread. I hadn't seen it. Squinch Mar 2014 #44

This. redqueen Mar 2014 #27

The imaginary porn war kind of said it all about those doing battle with their own brains Squinch Mar 2014 #28

That was something BainsBane Mar 2014 #30

But also kind of fascinating. Squinch Mar 2014 #33

I think they were fighting against something that was arguing with them and oppressing them LanternWaste Mar 2014 #45

You are giving them the benefit of the doubt, and I very much hope you are right. Squinch Mar 2014 #48

Yep. Someone here said it well... redqueen Mar 2014 #31

Labeling feminists as "faux feminists" because of their Squinch Mar 2014 #34

Very well said. redqueen Mar 2014 #35

ya know... lol. and here i was on my way out the door. yup. lmao. nt seabeyond Mar 2014 #41

the thing is BainsBane Mar 2014 #49

But, but, but... when you point out how all their positions are the same as those who Squinch Mar 2014 #50

cause redq, we have clearly learned the issue is not about women and our issues. it is about da porn seabeyond Mar 2014 #40

i know... it was so fuggin stupid, arguing with nothing. lol. i was all wtf.... seabeyond Mar 2014 #39

"Honest misunderstandings are few and far between." Squinch Mar 2014 #29

Of course... it's as plain as day. redqueen Mar 2014 #32

what about those that blatantly abuse the five rule... hu hu. rollin eyes. seabeyond Mar 2014 #42

Make it a good one! Squinch Mar 2014 #43

no redq. there is no misunderstandings. we all understand. clearly. seabeyond Mar 2014 #38

Very well said. YoungDemCA Mar 2014 #46

thank you for this post. Tuesday Afternoon Mar 2014 #22

They know it isn't "sex-negative" gollygee Mar 2014 #14

when they say "sex negative" they mean that someone doesn't approve geek tragedy Mar 2014 #15

Exactly. KitSileya Mar 2014 #18

we all know that another word for "sex negative" is "prude"....and "HoFer" and "a certain group on D seabeyond Mar 2014 #19

The sex lives of individual feminists ismnotwasm Mar 2014 #16

it was used to insult women. it is still being used to insult women. a handful of men continue to seabeyond Mar 2014 #17

I read somewhere that just because you problematise some aspects of sexuality and culture, KitSileya Mar 2014 #20

Malicious. Good word for what is happening. Tuesday Afternoon Mar 2014 #47

i have stated this so many times and will state again, not that it wont be ignored also. seabeyond Mar 2014 #21

"... i will discuss what these choices mean to us as a whole." Tuesday Afternoon Mar 2014 #51