"Being a Female Misogynist"

[BainsBane]

Powerful testimonial of a woman who confronted her own internalized misogyny.

I kept thinking about women.

Not of women I knew, but women as a concept.

What an uncomfortable concept.

They seemed so vulnerable. And caring. It felt like they did all of the work for none of the credit. Cleaned up everyone else’s mess.

Historically, they held no power. Historically, there was childbirth and labor, rape and abuse. . .

They killed themselves to look attractive, and once that was gone, seemed so discarded. Left to live vicariously through others, disrespected by their own children.

More pain.

From menarche to menopause. Pain, mortality, ephemerality, insignificance, sorrow.
. . .

All this time, I had thought the challenge was in the outside world. That I had to prove to everyone else how awesome women are, and rid the world of misogyny.

But no. Because the battle was internal. Because although I fancied myself a warrior for women’s empowerment, deep down, I was the misogynist.

I had a deep, rooted, unquestionable hatred for women.

https://medium.com/p/1ba7e62c12f4