So I found this website "The Art of Manliness"

[ismnotwasm]

4. Indeed

Nothing wrong with males-- bless 'em----it's those unrealistic expectations. I see it in my husband all the time-- he has multiple sclerosis and it steals from him a little at a time; I see his self esteem is often tied up in what he can't do using physical strength or stamina among other things-- no matter how much I tell him how good and decent and caring he is, what a wonderful lover, the absolute love of my life and if I lost him I know I'd rather live alone-- he's one of a kind and irreplaceable. I can say all those things and more, but the toxic aspects of the masculinity standard will creep in there sooner or later and then he struggles so hard, so hard.

We've been married 21 years this month been together 22. What a long, strange trip it's been.