History of Feminism

BainsBane

(54,998 posts)

75. Enjoying sex is part of the human condition

Sat Jul 12, 2014, 03:42 AM

Jul 2014

Whether your friends like sex with lots of partners, one partner, or abstain entirely--their sex lives are a matter of their own choice. It should not be pathologized as either slutty or prudish. They live their lives and sex is part of that, just as it is for you and the men you know. It should be neither remarkable or scandalous that they enjoy sex. Many human beings do.

If they refer to themselves as sluts, that is their choice. But I would advise you not to apply the label to other women, nor refer to women you think as sexually deficient in some way as prudes. Just let them live their lives as they see fit.

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Start calling out the term 'slut-shaming' [View all] redqueen Jul 2014 OP

Very good points! theHandpuppet Jul 2014 #1

Thanks! redqueen Jul 2014 #2

Agreed. nt littlemissmartypants Jul 2014 #10

Will do Half-Century Man Jul 2014 #3

Thank you! redqueen Jul 2014 #5

Unfortunately littlemissmartypants Jul 2014 #11

Responding to both you, and redqueen Half-Century Man Jul 2014 #42

language is so important. anyone raising kids know this. that is why we as parents always seabeyond Jul 2014 #64

Welcome back! thucythucy Jul 2014 #78

hey thucythucy. seabeyond Jul 2014 #79

This message was self-deleted by its author cerveza_gratis Jul 2014 #51

look at you.... nt seabeyond Jul 2014 #65

hi half, you are da man. nt seabeyond Jul 2014 #66

SEABEYOND! Half-Century Man Jul 2014 #71

ha.... seabeyond Jul 2014 #72

Hear, Hear! ReRe Jul 2014 #4

Yes people who call girls and women 'sluts' are engaging in misogyny. redqueen Jul 2014 #7

Agreed. nt littlemissmartypants Jul 2014 #9

True! ReRe Jul 2014 #14

Exactly, it is all they know. redqueen Jul 2014 #16

Agreed. nt littlemissmartypants Jul 2014 #8

Language is dynamic. littlemissmartypants Jul 2014 #6

This stuff is insidious. redqueen Jul 2014 #12

gosh, all i have learned, am learning, will learn. right? nt seabeyond Jul 2014 #67

Thank you!! Peacetrain Jul 2014 #13

Thank you too! redqueen Jul 2014 #15

Great Observation ... 1StrongBlackMan Jul 2014 #17

Thank you! redqueen Jul 2014 #18

What you said, 1SBM. riqster Jul 2014 #20

What's a better term to use for the slanderous activity in question? IronLionZion Jul 2014 #19

Misogyny. Demonizing women by attacking their sexuality (calling them 'sluts' OR 'prudes') redqueen Jul 2014 #21

I don't get it??? ... 1StrongBlackMan Jul 2014 #23

I skimmed right over that turn of phrase redqueen Jul 2014 #30

You also raised another issue here - this idea of 'slut-shaming' is often used to silence criticism redqueen Jul 2014 #22

We need words to have a discussion IronLionZion Jul 2014 #31

That you don't understand how discussions are derailed and stifled.... redqueen Jul 2014 #32

I think you have more power here than you think. IronLionZion Jul 2014 #33

I know I have the power to call out misogynistic slurs, redqueen Jul 2014 #36

A couple of examples BainsBane Jul 2014 #60

An online conversation doesn't have to be derailed or stifled IronLionZion Jul 2014 #76

i have used the term also, harshly to one particular man that was all over a thread seabeyond Jul 2014 #80

that is the point. we are not discussing the mans sexuality in these terms of prude nor slut. seabeyond Jul 2014 #68

How about "shaming a woman for being a sexual human being?" Squinch Jul 2014 #38

Seems to me Android3.14 Jul 2014 #24

Then ... 1StrongBlackMan Jul 2014 #26

lol redqueen Jul 2014 #27

I guess you need to get out more. theHandpuppet Jul 2014 #29

Well then, clearly it isn't something you need to think about. Or comment on. As for the rest of Squinch Jul 2014 #39

It just seems like someone is worrying about a pair of dirty socks Android3.14 Jul 2014 #44

Ah, the 'more important things' tactic. redqueen Jul 2014 #47

So you are here to tell us that, when we say we don't want to be referred to as sluts, we are Squinch Jul 2014 #49

What? Android3.14 Jul 2014 #54

Gosh. So glad to know it's ok with you. Squinch Jul 2014 #56

well mercuryblues Jul 2014 #52

The way I understand it Android3.14 Jul 2014 #55

from your own keyboard mercuryblues Jul 2014 #58

Be careful android Tetris_Iguana Jul 2014 #59

Maybe Android3.14 Jul 2014 #61

Thanks for mansplaining. Tetris_Iguana Jul 2014 #62

let me clearly state why it is not a little thing but the foundation of all of our misogyny. seabeyond Jul 2014 #63

Absolutely BainsBane Jul 2014 #74

Yes, we hear that all the time BainsBane Jul 2014 #73

Are the people who can't spell going to understand what a Misogynist is? PADemD Jul 2014 #25

Education is the key. redqueen Jul 2014 #28

Some of my best friends are sluts 90-percent Jul 2014 #34

Why should women who enjoy sex be applauded? redqueen Jul 2014 #35

Enjoying sex is part of the human condition BainsBane Jul 2014 #75

Point of clarification: Maedhros Jul 2014 #37

I think you are right about the origin, but I also think Redqueen is right about the fact that it Squinch Jul 2014 #40

Exactly, it means the OPPOSITE of what the OP thinks it does Warpy Jul 2014 #41

NO, really, it doesn't. It's a bad choice of words. It is meant to say that women Squinch Jul 2014 #50

Imagine using any other bigoted slur in this way. redqueen Jul 2014 #43

The term appears to have been created by feminists to denounce the use of "slut" as a slur. Maedhros Jul 2014 #45

Yes, it wasn't intended to be misogynistic, redqueen Jul 2014 #46

you still have to have a slut to shame the shamer. nt seabeyond Jul 2014 #69

I never thought of it that way.. KyleMcShades Jul 2014 #48

I'm sure most of the time it is well intended. redqueen Jul 2014 #53

I agree it should never be used about women, along with the other slurs against them or minorities. freshwest Jul 2014 #57

I think it was certainly a different time. redqueen Jul 2014 #82

I never heard it used as admiration or envy. Different time and place, maybe. I don't use it, freshwest Jul 2014 #86

Good call, I completely agree. mountain grammy Jul 2014 #70

Thanks mountain grammy. redqueen Jul 2014 #83

As always, redqueen, your OP is interesting and informative, thucythucy Jul 2014 #77

Wow thanks... redqueen Jul 2014 #84

your argument makes a lot of sense geek tragedy Jul 2014 #81

The problematic nature of the term is fairly obvious redqueen Jul 2014 #85

I agree. Sometimes people under the guise of reclaiming geek tragedy Jul 2014 #87