Feeling a bit jaded re: my peers...

[YoungDemCA]

That is to say, my Millennial (specifically, male) peers. I've come really close to getting in arguments with three different friends over feminism in recent weeks.

One of them called feminists a "hate group" that "hate men" and argued that "they do nothing for men's rights", another said that he was "fucking tired of being made out to be the 'bad guy'" by feminists and that he thinks "male privilege" is bullshit, and the third made fun of "social justice warriors" who "never shut up about being victims."

Now, these are all straight white guys from middle-class suburban backgrounds, so I think that they're being ridiculous, but I guess I'm not confident enough in myself to call them out on this behavior...yet. Moreover, I know that they're far, far from alone among this demographic (my demographic, as it happens)....if anything, I'm more of an exception to the rule in my overall attitudes on this-which says more about my peers than it does about me, I reckon!

I guess in a culture of porn, hookups, "playas" and "studs", etc., with "cock-blocking" and "friend-zoning" being seen as injustices to men (with a perverse sense of entitlement), it's depressingly easy to see why many young men feel this way.

Full disclosure: I have a lot of the same bullshit insecurities and anxieties as do many of my straight male peers. But I am definitely bothered by the aggressive, over-sexualized, women-objectifying messages that media, entertainment, the culture in general aim at me, as a young man....and I like to think, I at least try to be better than that. Because I know better.

Of course, this is really not about me, or even my male friends. It's about the overall culture of young men in America. Something's seriously troubling about it, and you know what? It hurts us as well. Stunts our emotional growth, our potential, our character as men and as unique individuals and as human beings-all of that is gone, when we play by society's gender roles.

I hope for any young men who may read this...that they know that feminism is not about hating men, or about making men feel like "bad guys" or "guilty" or whatever. Women's rights are human rights, and humanity is inclusive of men. What benefits the marginalized and the oppressed, benefits all of us. That's the message that needs to be drilled home, somehow.

Thanks for reading.