I've lived with something for a while now.

[woodsprite]

3. Have you tried meditation and exercise?

I started being that way in 1st grade and my dr. put me on "nerve" meds. I would literally throw up and have diarrhea every morning before school or on Sunday's before church (there's a whole horrid fundy story behind that one). On the meds, I could barely make it through the day without falling asleep. I was on those for 3 years. After that, it would raise it's head from time to time up through college, and I just tried to push it in the back of my mind and make do. Getting into the workforce, caring for sick parents, dealing with depressed and anxious kids, plus health issues, brought it rushing back.

I've found that quiet down time right after work, before I have to fix dinner, helps. It's funny - 4 of us return home and all go to our separate corners of the house for about an hour. I know the exercise works, but with work, kids, church, etc. it's hard to keep that up regularly. I am soooo not a morning person, and that's the only idea my Dr. gives me for trying to make it a daily habit. I know there were times in the past that exercise was the first thing I thought of when I was extremely stressed or anxious. I was happy with that and was thinking "This is so easy. Why didn't I do that before now." But it's making the time that isn't easy.

My best was when I was doing 40-45 min of moderate to high-moderate activity per day (walking 2.8mph with sprints of 3.5mph -- I don't run). For meditation, I listen to Andrew Johnson (he has videos on YouTube and an iPhone app) or The Meditation Podcast w/ Jesse and Jeane Stern. Yes, I pay the $2/mo so I can get to my favorite old episodes (especially the "falling asleep" episode), but they have 20-30+ minute freebies they offer. If you haven't done meditation before, I think the Andrew Johnson ones explain it well as he goes through the meditation, but it still takes practice. When I do it right, I can feel the weight of my body melting and I feel so relaxed when the session is done.

Replying to your message reminds me that I need to get back into regular mediation and exercise now that life has slowed down a bit for summer break. Maybe I can find "my best" again.