I'm a big gun control advocate! Really! I really am!

[DanTex]

I support background checks! Just make sure there's no paper trail, because, you know, that's de facto registration, and we all know that gun registration is the first step towards confiscation, which then leads to prison camps and mass enslavement. But I'm all for background checks!

Also, I support limits on magazine capacity. The limit should be 30 rounds because that's "standard capacity" based on today's modern weaponry!

I support the ban on assault weapons. And by that I mean the ban on machine guns that is already in place, because, you know, the term "assault weapon" was invented by gun grabbers to describe scary looking guns.

Of course, you might think I oppose gun control simply because I've spent almost all of my time on DU criticizing Democrats and making rabidly anti-gun-control posts in the gungeon. But really I'm secretly a big fan of gun control. I just don't want to see the Democrats overplay their hand by doing something draconian like limiting magazine capacity at 29 rounds, because then we'd lose every election for the next 50 years, and nobody wants that!

I just want to help the gun control cause, and I think it would be helpful to have someone like me on board that knows the names of all the parts of a gun, because in the end, that's the most important thing in the gun policy debate.

We're all on the same side here. I'm a big gun control advocate. Can't you tell?