The Onion’s Tips For Passing Gun Control Legislation

[jimmy the one]

3. GOA (gunnuts anonymous, gun owers anonymous)

I think also, in the onion sense, that we could use a 'Gunnuts Anonymous', similar to the better known AA re alcohol.
Meets would go along the AA line, introduce oneself, such as:

Hi everyone. I'm Steve. And I'm a gunnut.

counselor: Welcome Steve! (background murmurs, titters of hi steve!, hey, how ya doin); would you care to tell us something about yourself? you don't have to, you can just listen if you want.

Steve: Be glad to. I've been a gunnut for over 15 years, have had at least 15 guns (a few gasps, oh nos) & fell for the nra baloney that guns would make me safer. Then as I aged, I realized that it was all a myth, a 2nd amendment mythology, and my guns were more a hazard than a boon since I hadn't used them at all to defend myself - not even once - & I once almost shot my finger off at a gun range but lucky it went down into the ground & no one noticed. My kids even found them sometimes, but at least they were never loaded (sighs of relief in bg). I sold my guns to a city buyback, tried to sell them to a gun dealer but his quotes were awful & I thought giving them to the government was perhaps wiser.

Shouts of Bravo, Yay, Yeah, from all around. A Gunnut on his way to recovery!

Added benefit, would give the pro gun org 'Gun Owners of America' fits, as the acronym would (sometimes) be the same GOA.