I've had to go back to therapy and it's been really rough.

[FedUpWithIt All]

I've mentioned some of the sexual aspects of the traumas i've experienced in my life. That post is really just a part of a whole lot more. Violence, neglect and other varied traumas...I've had trouble "integrating" socially my entire adult life as a result. There had been a long period of time where i was able to maintain a somewhat comfortable existence, in spite of this, due to the support and understanding of my husband and children. We created a somewhat simple and calm "bubble" of our lives, for me to reside in, and i have been able to get by this way. We were careful to keep things known and secure. Lately, problems with finances have been forcing me outside of my "bubble" and i do not do well outside.

Nightmares are coming back. Insomnia from hyper-vigilance is wearing me down. I am increasingly irritable and agitated. I am emotionally exhausted and it is wearing me down physically.

I've had to take a deeper look at the way i function now, as a way to "survive", and it's been painful. I almost feel as if i am going to have to remove myself from therapy again because it just swirls up way too much that felt like it had finally settled.

I'm sorry if this isn't the place for this i am just feeling very overwhelmed lately and needed to share it with someone outside of my little circle. They deal with enough of my "stuff" already.

I do hope you are all finding some peace.