BREAKTHROUGH

[no_hypocrisy]

Better late than never.

I had a revelation last week-end: my sister is a narcissist, possibly a malignant narcissist.

I don't know how I've missed this. 64 years and in front of me and I didn't make the connection.

Both our parents were narcissists. My therapist opined that my stories reflected that our parents were narcissists.

I started watching a variety of youtubes about narcissists and I was practically yelling and pointing at the screen.

This is what the precipitating event was: My sister was irrationally enraged (again). She had planned to have our brother and me join her at her home in the Hamptons for her birthday. But it was more than her birthday. We haven't been together since the Thanksgiving the same year our father passed, nine years. Plus it's about the time our mother passed 20 years ago. So the get-together was significant. My sister insisted that I demand that our cousin who posted on my FB post (my page) delete his post. His post said in essence our family was dysfunctional, and it was and still is. I refused to accede to her demand, and confirmed his opinion was spot on. She then un-invited me for that week-end. And immediately called our brother, looking for support.

I stopped responding to her texts that evening, remaining detached and not engaging with her. I realized that I just had had enough. The AA thing of when you're sick and tired of being sick and tired.

I made a list this morning and there is a decided pattern. She's sabotaged two of my graduations. She's hyped up my parents who then turned on me. I was literally routed out of my childhood home on my 30th birthday, celebrating the same.

Oh, there's more.

She's left me a voicemail, "apologizing," but it's not really an apology as she believes she did the right thing.

When you choose peace, it comes with a lot of goodbyes.

I don't need this. I never did.

There's a strong chance that for my own peace, I don't have further contact with her. I can't change her and she's just . . . . toxic.