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I'm so sorry. Even a couple of years downstream, YES, it still hurts.
As I saw on another thread by Jedi Guy, here, earlier today:
A friend of mine said this when I talked to her about my loss, and I think it's rather beautiful, so I'll share it. "Grief is love with nowhere to go."
https://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=post&forum=1002&pid=16449602
At least YOU are HERE, ChazII. With us. 
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