A plea to ignore the flame bait

[cinnabonbon]

45. I am glad we talk about it, at least.

It just sucks that they're actually trying to silence people. They don't like the problem, simply because they're being told where they contribute to it. A better response would be to go "I didn't realize I had a part in it. How can I change that?"

Instead I see petty derailing of important issues, because their feelings are way more important than a survivor's safety in a group she considered her allies. We both know that even if the problem was prettied up and made harmless-looking for them so it wouldn't offend their delicate sensibilities, they would still find a reason to sweep it under the rug.

I really wish there was some way to label people on DU (based on their own admission), so I'd know who not to engage. Like "this is john, he thinks rape is an erotic act, not an act of violence," "This is Mike, he believes that adults should be able to have sex with children" etc. Would save me a lot of time and heartache.