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Ladies: Here's 50 Things You MUST Know to Keep a Man [View all]
The first thing you should know is that according to a list published on Wall Street Insanity, men are fragile babies who can't stand to have their women disagree with them in public, gain weight or watch a chick flick without getting a blowie after. (I need you to know that writing blowie literally made me feel itchy and like I need to take a shower. Is blowie the new moist?) The second thing you should know is that whoever wrote this is a fucking idiot.
This list, which promises to "help you help him to create a strong and lasting relationship with just about any guy" (what? Is that a Freudian slip), lets the women reading in on a little secret: Men will never understand women, so women have to learn to understand men. Good news, though, men are so easy to understand that instructions on how to take charge, keep them content, and get what you want can be boiled down to 50 easy-peasy bullet points. (And if you don't get it, the author will provide you with a private tutorial.) (Gross.)
He hates that short haircut. This is the reason Jennifer Lawrence can't. land. a. man. Sorry J-Law, truth hurts. Fuck what you want your hair to look like, your partner's preference is all that matters.
. . .
You should always take his side. Look, it doesn't matter if he's just said that the moon is made of Courtney Stodden's crystallized tears or that Sarah Palin would make an excellent president because she's been keeping an eye on Russia from her house and they haven't attacked IN YEARS, if it's in public you just smile and nod because any challenge to his intellectual authority is going to tax your relationship and have you on the first bus out to LONESOMEVILLE. You can say whatever you want in private (we are in the year 2014, after all), but if you so much as suggest that he may be incorrect while other people (the author doesn't qualify who these people are, only that they are the public) are around, he will never forgive you. Never ever.
This list, which promises to "help you help him to create a strong and lasting relationship with just about any guy" (what? Is that a Freudian slip), lets the women reading in on a little secret: Men will never understand women, so women have to learn to understand men. Good news, though, men are so easy to understand that instructions on how to take charge, keep them content, and get what you want can be boiled down to 50 easy-peasy bullet points. (And if you don't get it, the author will provide you with a private tutorial.) (Gross.)
He hates that short haircut. This is the reason Jennifer Lawrence can't. land. a. man. Sorry J-Law, truth hurts. Fuck what you want your hair to look like, your partner's preference is all that matters.
. . .
You should always take his side. Look, it doesn't matter if he's just said that the moon is made of Courtney Stodden's crystallized tears or that Sarah Palin would make an excellent president because she's been keeping an eye on Russia from her house and they haven't attacked IN YEARS, if it's in public you just smile and nod because any challenge to his intellectual authority is going to tax your relationship and have you on the first bus out to LONESOMEVILLE. You can say whatever you want in private (we are in the year 2014, after all), but if you so much as suggest that he may be incorrect while other people (the author doesn't qualify who these people are, only that they are the public) are around, he will never forgive you. Never ever.
http://jezebel.com/ladies-heres-50-things-you-must-know-to-keep-a-man-1549300629?utm_campaign=socialflow_jezebel_facebook&utm_source=jezebel_facebook&utm_medium=socialflow
Original list: http://wallstreetinsanity.com/50-things-every-woman-should-realize-about-men/
Take note, women. This is the kind of great guy you're missing out on if you don't follow the list:
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